I reach the café’s toilet door at the exact same moment as the lady who had smiled at me earlier. “After you, I’m in no hurry,” she chirps cheerfully. I nod and slip inside, feeling like I’ve just won a minor social lottery.
And I immediately regret it.
It looks like an Agatha Christie crime scene. The sink’s disgusting, paper towels are having a sort of floor party, and there’s a suspicious puddle around the toilet that I pray is just water.
Panic hits me: the lady at the door will think I did it.
In a frantic blur, I scrub the sink with my hankie, mop the floor with a wad of paper towels, and wrestle the overflowing trash can into submission.
When it’s presentable, I stride out unashamedly: only to find nobody standing there.
The smiling lady has disappeared.
Which is a relief as, in all the chaos, I forgot to pee.
Published, Five Minute Lit, August 2025
